Disney Soundtracks and Cat Paws

Well once again, I have failed to keep this blog updated. Good thing you don't pay for this otherwise I'd feel really bad...but since it's free..........I don't feel THAT bad. Anyway...have you ever wondered about what music those people walking around with iPods are listening to? I mean, I may come off judgmental when I say that for some people I can't imagine them listening to anything but Disney Soundtracks. Do you ever think that? Or am I just a music judging monster? Eh. Well my secrets out.

VENTING SECTION: The section, in which...I vent.

Alright so I've decided how much I have grown to HATE political commercials. I mean honestly...

no one is honest anymore so there's no point in advertising it. Plus I don't wanna hear about how I

shouldn't trust a candidate, I wanna know why I should vote for the person who "supports this message."

RANDOM FACT SECTION: Yes...a random fact.

"Female cats tend to be right-pawed and male cats tend to be left-pawed." Okay....for real? Who

comes up with these shenanigans?! For one...cats have four legs...so what left or right paw are they

talkin about? Two...why on earth would a cat need to know that? I mean it's not like you take them to

kindergarten and handing it a #2 pencil. Which now confuses me with the whole left-brain, right-brain

concept. Does it still apply that most left handed cats are the creative ones? How are we to know?!

This is preposterous...who do I talk to about these questions?

Well I hate to say it, but that's I've got for you today. Just remember that penguins are the only

animal you need to worry about! Adios!

Beer Bellys and Sesame Seeds

Alright...it's been a while since I last blogged. I'm sorry to my sisters...cause really they're the only ones who read it haha. Anyway, today I had an epiphany while I was playing the board game LIFE with a couple friends.  I was thinking...dang...I wish my life was like this game...that would be awesome!  I mean I started out $100,000 in debt and ended the game with $875,000...that's pretty dang cool.  I had four kids, girl, boy, and twins (boy and girl), and I had a husband...I imagine that he was a pretty awesome guy.  I was a police officer, so I got paid an extra $10,000 everytime someone was speeding.  And all I had to do was spin the wheel and move at the pace the spinner wanted me to.  The board told me what to do! Man...that was livin the life.  I've decided, forget college...I'm gonna inherit money. That's the only way to do it.

THE VENTING SECTION:

 Something I don't understand is drinking...like alcohol and partying like every weekend.  To me it just seems like it has more cons than pros.  Let's list them; 

Pros:

1. You feel invisible 

2. You're extremely funny to those around you

3. You forget all about your current problems

Cons: 

1. You are destroying your liver

2. You can't even remember how awesome or funny the night before was

3. You wake up with THE worst state ever(depending on how much you drank)

4. You are now spending a bunch of money on something that could've been avoided

5. You get a beer belly 

I dunno...seems to me like a pretty dumb decision.  I mean, I don't know about you, buuuuut...I like remembering what I did and I am perfectly capable of doing stupid things without the assistance of a beer. But of course, that's just my opinion. And I have many reasons to hate alcohol....so I'm a little biased.

RANDOM FACT SECTION: The section, in which, I give you a random fact.

"On average, there are 178 sesame seeds on each McDonalds BigMac bun." Okay, the first thing about this that I want to say is...who, in their right mind, would sit and count the sesame seeds on a bun. The second thing I'd like to say is...the phrase "on average" indicates that the number has been compared to multiple numbers, so who would count the sesame seeds on more than just one bun?  Just leave it at one bun people.  It's not necessary for anyone to know, really.  Unless of course, that number is supposed to help us survive somehow.   Wow.  The things that we feel the need to count.  

Well, sorry if it was a bit of a disappointment today but then again...I didn't make you read it, so it's your own fault. 

Haters and Bulletproof Vests

So today has been productive; I did my laundry, cleaned/vacuumed my room, cleaned the kitchen and washed my sheets...not to mention harvested some grapes and upgraded my farm. I'd say it's been pretty productive.

VENTING SECTION: The section...in which I vent.

The worst feeling in the world is going on Facebook and seeing all your friends in California with status' such as: "80 degrees, goin to the beach." or "60 degrees and I'm freezing." Then you take a look out your window and see nothing but snow. Don't tell me that people, I don't want want to know the beauty of California when I'm stuck...well...out of California. That's when you start to hate the world for a matter of minutes...if not the rest of the day. Don't get me wrong, I love snow...but only when I'm snowboarding. It's even more depressing when you're surrounded by snow and have no money to go boarding...that's when you REALLY hate the world. Then you have what I like to call a "California Breakdown," where you just can't stand to be without California anymore. People who hate on California...have no idea what they're talking about. Clearly...it's jealousy. Plus...it's like two states in one...you've got SoCal and NoCal and they are extremely different...really. People don't understand, if you don't like one, you're bound to like the other, it's inevitable. My car doesn't even like being out of California and in the snow. It won't start when it's too cold...no one here understands that...it's really true. Cars from California. Hate. Utah. Or any other state that gets below 50 degrees. California haters: you are nieve. Only those who have not experienced the greatness of California choose to hate on it. Wise up people.

RANDOM FACT SECTION:

Bulletproof vests, fire escapes, and windshield wipers were all invented by women. Okay okay, so without women more people would die from shots to the chest, not being able to easily escape from fire and car crashes from not being able to see while driving in the rain. Haha sounds like most of us are still alive today because of women. It seems to me that men do things in the moment, whereas women think things through in order to not get killed. Do you ever wonder why men invent extreme sport tricks? It's because women aren't crazy enough to test it until someone else proves that it's possible. Haha let the men take one for the team, even if it means risking their lives. The male and female mind work in such unique ways, it's extremely fascinating to me. Men are more risk takers wheres women are those who step back and look at the big picture. So women are more logical than men, thus it is proved.

Well folks, that's really all I can bust out today...sorry it wasn't that funny haha. Stay tuned for exclusive deleted scenes and movie in the making.

Dollar Bills and Einstein

So, it's Friday night and the Olympics have started. Oh joy, watching 4 hrs of just the opening ceremony. Do you think that the Olympic Committee knows the most of the world gets bored with all the random stuff they put in there? I don't know, maybe I'm not appreciative of "tradition," but I'm pretty positive that half the world had no idea why this random Peter Pan kid was gliding through the air and turning water into grass...seems like it symbolizes something...but no one knows what really...or even why. I love the Olympics, I really do but I really only watch the actual events. The opening ceremony is more of a "maybe I'll watch it." One thing that I did think was respectful however, was that they did dedicate one of the many speeches to Nodar Kumaritashvili, who was sadly killed in practice runs for the luge.

What I want to know, is how musical instruments work. I mean, I know how they work but why and who would figure that out? It's absolutely brilliant if you think about it. Okay, look at the trumpet, for example, how can one valve change to a different note? I know that the holes and air ways are different but wow. Or a flute? Who knew that pushing a button to cover an air hole would make different sounds come out?! Crazy stuff, I tell ya.

VENTING SECTION: The section in which I vent...

MONEY. Ah yes...the necessary evil. Something I don't understand is, what's the point? Okay, I understand the function of money and why we need a money system but last time I checked, every single country is in debt. How is that possible? How can we loan money to other countries, when we don't have money ourselves? I just don't understand, money isn't serving it's purpose at all. Every time something drastic happens, we're just like "Oh. Haha, IOU." Not just that, but we are in a lose, lose situation. President Obama can either raise taxes and make everyone who is already suffering financially, suffer more; or he can cut taxes, but where is all the money gonna come from? You just can't win. Props to President Obama for taking a nearly impossible position at the most impossible time. I wouldn't have the guts. Hear is my thought. The whole world just presses a "Reset Button" and everyone forgets about their debt, yada yada yada. We clean the slate and move ahead with our lives, keeping them intact.

RANDOM FACT SECTION:

"Bats always turn left when exiting a cave." Hmmmm, that's kinda weird. Is that to lower the number of head on collisions? Bats are blind, right? Haha, I think that our little friend, the bat, here may be smarter than the human species. Congratulations human race, for failing to be smarter than something that flies and can't even see! I'm pretty sure that there are more car accidents in a minute than there are flying accidents by bats in their lifetime. Sometimes, I wonder why God gave US the ability to speak and control the world. It's probably because we can't get ANYTHING right! We needed the ability to speak in order to survive and the ruling the world thing was to just keep our self-esteem on the upper level. Animals probably look at us humans everyday and think to themselves, "those stupid humans." I would. I mean most of us can't "camp" without a tent or RV. Animals, camping is their LIFE! And they do it without a tent or RrrrrV! We can't even eat things without using some sort of technology, like a knife or a gun. They catch food with their bare hands!...or paws, whatever. They don't have to worry about drama between other animals, if you're being stupid BAM! you're dead, it's as simple as that. Wow I am embarrassed by our lack of ability to function naturally. I will never look at my dog the same.

Well people, you get what you pay for. This is free, so I'm not responsible for wasting your time. See ya!

Dishwashers and Cow Pies

My apologies for the delay, everyone. I had a virus on my computer and was a little preoccupied by that. Have you ever wondered why they have "scientific" names for things? Honestly, I think it's just so scientists can confuse you by saying, " Formulation of an hypothesis to explain the phenomena," when what they're really saying is tell me why that thing does what it does. Just get on with it! Don't get all confusing an technical just to sound smarter. You may sound smarter, but to most people who don't know what you're saying...you sound dumb! Show off. That's what I think anyways. You're not impressing me with your scientific way of putting things. Gimney Christmas!

Venting Section: The Section in Which I Vent

You know what really drives me up the wall? Dirty dishes. I don't know, maybe it's my OCD but they make me absolutely insane. I didn't discover this until I had roommates. Oh my. I don't mind so much if they leave something in the sink and clean it up later, but when they don't rinse it out..? That takes all of two seconds to do! Plus, when you don't rinse it out it just gets crusted on there and make your job harder anyways. So all that time that you thought you were saving by not rinsing it and leaving it in the sink is doubled, if not tripled, when you're trying to get all the dried up, crusted, old food off the dish. Another thing about dirty dishes is if the dishwasher is completely empty...yet there are dishes left in the sink. Wow. Really? Are you that lazy that you can't open a door and place something on a rack? Seriously. No wonder all other countries hate Americans! Someone probably had one for a roommate 50 yrs ago and that's where all the rumors started. "Those Americans are so lazy, they can't even rinse off a bowl let alone put it in a dishwasher." Way to represent America lazy pants! Now everyone hates us!

Random Fact of the Day:

"The most money ever paid for a cow in an auction was $1.3 million. " Okay, okay...why? Did that cow have magic milk or something? It better have an endless supply of your choice of any flavor milk you want! You could probably buy 500 cows for that! Here's what I think happened:

"Do I hear $100? Can I get $100? $100! Do I hear $150? Can I get $150?" "Oh my gosh. I really want that cow. I really want it. The price is going up." "$200! Do I hear a $250?" "$1.3 million!" "SOLD! To the man with $1.3 million!" "(oh shoot. I got too excited. I can't come back from that. Do I even have $1.3 million?)"

Yup. I really think it was someones first auction and they got over excited about the endless supply of chocolate milk. The pressure of the situation must have been too much. Poor fellow.

Well, don't forget to floss everyday and see the receptionist to make an appointment in 6 months. Come back before if needed. Oh! And don't forget your toy. See you next time!

ROFL's and Canadians

Why hello there! I'm back with some more random thoughts. It's an endless process really. But I was thinkin about purses today and I really don't like them. Ya, they can accentuate your outfit...but they are a hassle. I mean, you have to carry them around and stuff...why not just use a backpack? I dunno. Not only that, but then you're worried about leaving it everywhere. It's like having a kid that doesn't eat or make noise at you. In fact, it's even worse if you have a kid...or baby. Then you have to carry the diaper bag annnnd your purse. Don't get me wrong...they're a great idea, I personally just hate carrying that many things.

VENTING SECTION: The Section In Which I Vent

So I have noticed a new pet peeve that I have developed...people who don't text back. It drives me absolutely bonkers. I mean it's one thing if the conversation was done and going nowhere but when you're like in the middle of a conversation and they had texted you just like two minutes ago and don't respond...that's when it's like...what? Or when people say that they're too busy to text back haha. Okay, I understand being busy...but all the time? That's when you know you're being avoided. Wasn't texting invented to save time? Haha, it takes two seconds to send a text...even if it's "Hey, can't talk right now. Bye." Oh well...I guess I don't really like texting anyway, as I've mentioned in a previous blog. From now on...I'm gonna call people even if I jut need to know a small little thing. Then they'll understand why texting is a necessary evil. People are funny and I don't understand a lot of them.

RANDOM FACT OF THE DAY:

Okay so apparently on a Canadian two dollar bill, the flag flying over the Parliament Building is an American flag...anyone from Canada care to explain? If you think about it, those two flags are commonly mixed up. I mean, they both have white and red on them...they both have something of nature on them...the countries are right next to each other...NO. Those flags are very different! One has stripes and stars and the other is plain with a leaf on it! What is going on here? Get your own flag! My thought is that they're doing some sort of subliminal messaging.

Ding Dong.

Well, just another day in the neighborhood. The sky is white, the trees are frosted, and the air smells of cow pollution. Yup, such a great little town we live in where the cows pollute more than our cars...and most drive diesel here. Congratulations Cache County, Utah for having a grade C in air quality. You're really trying hard to...kill. us. all.

Who thought of pickles? Don't get me wrong, they are delicious; but who would think that putting cucumbers in a vinegar solution would make such a delectable condiment? My thoughts is that is was an accident...just like post-it notes. I mean, you're trying to make the strongest glue made by man and you end up making temporary stickiness. Where pickles made in a laboratory? Were they really trying to make some sort of organic cucumber or did they just accidentally drop a cucumber in vinegar and not realize it until a couple days had already passed? And who thought to make pickles taste like bread and butter? What? That almost does't even make sense. "Hey wouldn't it be cool to have a pickle with the flavor of bread and butter?" What was the thought process? Nonetheless, we need these people with crazy thoughts to develop such flavor to our hamburgers.

Random Fact Of The Day: The Section in Which I Give You a Random Fact

Okay, so apparently even if you're not thirsty, you should still drink water because when your body is dehydrated the first mechanism thats shuts down is thirst. Hmmm...well looks like mine shut down a long time ago...cause I am practically never thirsty. Who would've thought? Okay so since I have found out that my body has been dehydrated for many years, how do I reverse that? Should I drink normal amount...or double, to catch up? Am I destined to be dehydrated for the rest of my life?! Oh no. Help.

Venting Section: The Section In Which I Vent

So one thing that has baffled my mind for years is OCD tendencies. I just don't understand. I mean, with myself and this blog...I feel like I need to type a certain amount of random thoughts of my brain before I can save and publish the post. Or when you're trying so hard to concentrate in class and there is just one blind that is facing the opposite way of the others. I HAVE TO WORK IN THIS ROOM PEOPLE!! How am I supposed to work when that blind is consuming all of my attention?! I don't understand how that small detail can consume my thoughts for the ENTIRE time. Then, when I try to not concentrate on it...I find myself glancing at it every two seconds...as if it changed. All I have to say is...I can't be ashamed and neither should you...yes you. That's right. I'm talkin to you. Don't be ashamed. We OCD's need to stick together!

And that is all we have on the animal kingdom today folks. Tune in tomorrow to know how Geckos are capable of selling car insurance. Thanks for watching!

Shooby Dooby Doop Doo

Hola mis amigos! Estoy aquí! Alright so last night was pretty interesting. My sister, Brooke, and I were just sitting in her room when she decided that she wanted to get out her Spanish hymn book and sing songs en español. Great idea, ya? Maybe...well she said i was doing good at "trying" to follow along...highly doubt it. She is one of those people I like to call a "Sugarcoater." Which bring me to my first menu item: Sugarcoaters. Ya, you know what I'm talking about. Those people who will do anything NOT to hurt your feelings. Honestly, most of the time I feel worse when someone sugarcoats something, because I know they're trying to say, in the nicest way possible of course, YOU SUCK. It's almost entertaining sometimes though. I mean, watching them try to form the right words in their head, and they're thinking so hard that you can almost see smoke coming out of their head...like a steam engine. Haha. But I guess what it all comes down to, is we all sugarcoat at some point.

Have you ever wondered who thought of the idea..."Picture Frame?" Kind of a weird idea, when you think about it. I can just imagine 3,000 years ago, "Hey! This good cave drawing, we should box around so later people can read. (Caveman voice)" Ever since we were little nose pickers, were making frames with popsicle sticks. My thought is that the best part of the frame...is the glass...otherwise, the purpose of the frame is nonexistent. The glass preserves the picture...or whatever is in it. Kinda interesting.

So I have decided to add a new section into the Blog, titled:
Random Fact of the Day: The Section in Which I Give You...a Random Fact
Did you know that the most stolen book in entire world is the Bible? Ironic, is it not? I mean I know for one thing that if you just call the number on those pass-along-cards, given by missionaries, and get one for free. Maybe I'm mistaken. Another thing is that it kinda contradicts one of the Commandments written in the Bible. I wonder how that works on judgment day? "So it looks here like you stole a book from a Hotel in May 1997...I have always taught that thou shalt not steal. How do you explain this?" "OH. Well...I stole the Bible, so that I could read it more." I guess in that situation God would know what to do, but I really don't know how that would work out in the end.

Venting Section: The Section in which i vent

Today I would like to ask the public... What is the purpose of a Scorpion? Honestly, I'm terrified of those things for a couple reasons:
Reason 1: They can kill you.
Reason 2: They are flat out ugly.
Reason 3: They are creepy looking.
Reason 4: Did I say that they're ugly?
I mean, I know they kill bugs and such and keep they food chain going somehow...but isn't there other animals/insects that could handle the job? They say that they are only dangerous when they feel threatened...wouldn't that be like all the time? Everything is huge compared to a scorpion! I feel threatened around tall people and I speak their language. You could be coming up to a scorpion saying "It's okay, little guy. I'm not gonna hurt you." and for all it knows you're saying, "I'm bigger than you and can crush you with my shoe!" I would absolutely hate to live in a place where I have the chance of a scorpion coming into my house.

We have arrived at our destination, you are free to move about the cabin. I hope you enjoyed you flight. Please fly with us again. Thank you, Babye now.

Pizza Slices and Ice

Okay okay...I know I haven't been updating like at all. But I've been really busy! GOSH! Keep your pants on...everyone just needs to calm down!
(Ehhem) Well The New Year started with me working at good 'ol Hot Dog De La Stick (Hot Dog On A Stick). I opened at 9 o' clock AM. Mind you, this is the third year in a row that I have opened New Year's Day...probably because I am the only one they know of, that will not be hung over. Any dang ways, I didn't have a customer for nearly and hour and a half...you might say that I was bored out of my mind. I was so bored, I was LOOKING for things to clean slash do. You know you're ridiculously awesome at your job when you find things to clean when your bored...I mean, let's be honest people. Back to the story. So I managed to clean the entire front of the store...I don't know if you've ever seen a Hot Dog On A Stick store...but it is piled with old, crusty, extremely hard to get off grease on all the cooking devices. (Disclaimer: Do Not Read if about to cook, eat, prepare, or even look at food) To clean these delicious looking cookers, I had to take a razor blade and scrape off all of the dried up glue textured grease from the sides of the cookers. Okay...so I was just wondering how in the heck does this grease manages to find its way ALL OVER the ENTIRE cooker? I mean it's like it grasshopper jumps out of the cooker onto the most impossible places. It's almost like someone stuck their filthy little hands in there and wiped gallons of boogers onto the sides. I just don't understand. But, nonetheless, I took one for the team, (actually two...because I opened too) and cleaned it.

So is it just me, or is everyone engaged? I mean honestly. My best friend is engaged, my old roommate is engaged, my uncle is engaged, my sister is engaged, a friend from my home town is engaged...it's seriously a never ending list. It's like everyone took the movie "2012" to heart and decided, "Hey the end of the world is neigh, I better get married!" I find it extremely ironic, don't you? I am going to be attending three weddings in one months time...that seems like a lot of weddings to me. It makes me think of the movie "27 Dresses." I'm going to have a closet full of dresses from multiple weddings. It's like everyone got shot by cupid at least 300 times. It's absolutely mental.

Little Caesar's Pizza:
Oh my. You get me started on such a delectable piece of crust topped with tomato sauce, cheese, and...esssstra cheese. Honestly, they are probably THE smartest pizza place out there. I mean $5 pizza, ready for you on the spot?! GENIUS! Fast food just became Speed of Light Food...or...Even Faster Food...dah, you know what I mean. If you look around...all the pizza places are trying to mimic it. Look at Dominoes, who wants to pay $5.99 for food poisoning? Their slogan should be "Hey only a dollar more to make you throw up so you can eat more! :)" Paalease. The best part is that you get at least three meals for $5! You eat two, get full, eat two, get full, eat the last two and are stuft. Forget Mc Donalds, I'm goin to Little Caesar's.

Venting Section: The Section in Which...I Vent
Icy Sidewalks.
I think that the funniest thing to watch is people walking on ice. The greatest part is if you're walking to class and see someone in front of you slip and then look around to see if anyone saw, pretending like nothing happened; while you say to yourself, "Buddy, you do realize that you are walking in a place full of engaged people, married people, and normal people...therefore everyone behind, in front, and on the side of you just saw you almost eat pavement." I don't know why everyone has to pretend like nothing happened. Honestly, one of these days I'm gonna almost beef and turn it into the moon walk or maybe to prevent any slipping at all...I'll just moon walk all the way to class. Let's do it. My philosophy is if you're already slipping in control, how can you slip and fall. But seriously, it's like farting...everyone does it, it can't be avoided. Embrace the moment that you almost just made a complete fool of yourself in front of about 60 people. Can you imagine
what the world would be like if no one got embarrassed...ever? I'm pretty sure that we would have so many naked crazies running around. Wow...maybe that's not the best idea I've had.

Well, that's all the time I have for today. I promise I will try and update as much as possible. If you wanna help me out and give me ideas of things to talk/vent/ridicule/patronize/

or even completely annihilate, just comment on the blog, email me, facebook me, call me, beep me, if you wanna reach me; any means of communication works. Until we meet again people of America! PEACE!