ROFL's and Canadians

Why hello there! I'm back with some more random thoughts. It's an endless process really. But I was thinkin about purses today and I really don't like them. Ya, they can accentuate your outfit...but they are a hassle. I mean, you have to carry them around and stuff...why not just use a backpack? I dunno. Not only that, but then you're worried about leaving it everywhere. It's like having a kid that doesn't eat or make noise at you. In fact, it's even worse if you have a kid...or baby. Then you have to carry the diaper bag annnnd your purse. Don't get me wrong...they're a great idea, I personally just hate carrying that many things.

VENTING SECTION: The Section In Which I Vent

So I have noticed a new pet peeve that I have developed...people who don't text back. It drives me absolutely bonkers. I mean it's one thing if the conversation was done and going nowhere but when you're like in the middle of a conversation and they had texted you just like two minutes ago and don't respond...that's when it's like...what? Or when people say that they're too busy to text back haha. Okay, I understand being busy...but all the time? That's when you know you're being avoided. Wasn't texting invented to save time? Haha, it takes two seconds to send a text...even if it's "Hey, can't talk right now. Bye." Oh well...I guess I don't really like texting anyway, as I've mentioned in a previous blog. From now on...I'm gonna call people even if I jut need to know a small little thing. Then they'll understand why texting is a necessary evil. People are funny and I don't understand a lot of them.

RANDOM FACT OF THE DAY:

Okay so apparently on a Canadian two dollar bill, the flag flying over the Parliament Building is an American flag...anyone from Canada care to explain? If you think about it, those two flags are commonly mixed up. I mean, they both have white and red on them...they both have something of nature on them...the countries are right next to each other...NO. Those flags are very different! One has stripes and stars and the other is plain with a leaf on it! What is going on here? Get your own flag! My thought is that they're doing some sort of subliminal messaging.

Ding Dong.

Well, just another day in the neighborhood. The sky is white, the trees are frosted, and the air smells of cow pollution. Yup, such a great little town we live in where the cows pollute more than our cars...and most drive diesel here. Congratulations Cache County, Utah for having a grade C in air quality. You're really trying hard to...kill. us. all.

Who thought of pickles? Don't get me wrong, they are delicious; but who would think that putting cucumbers in a vinegar solution would make such a delectable condiment? My thoughts is that is was an accident...just like post-it notes. I mean, you're trying to make the strongest glue made by man and you end up making temporary stickiness. Where pickles made in a laboratory? Were they really trying to make some sort of organic cucumber or did they just accidentally drop a cucumber in vinegar and not realize it until a couple days had already passed? And who thought to make pickles taste like bread and butter? What? That almost does't even make sense. "Hey wouldn't it be cool to have a pickle with the flavor of bread and butter?" What was the thought process? Nonetheless, we need these people with crazy thoughts to develop such flavor to our hamburgers.

Random Fact Of The Day: The Section in Which I Give You a Random Fact

Okay, so apparently even if you're not thirsty, you should still drink water because when your body is dehydrated the first mechanism thats shuts down is thirst. Hmmm...well looks like mine shut down a long time ago...cause I am practically never thirsty. Who would've thought? Okay so since I have found out that my body has been dehydrated for many years, how do I reverse that? Should I drink normal amount...or double, to catch up? Am I destined to be dehydrated for the rest of my life?! Oh no. Help.

Venting Section: The Section In Which I Vent

So one thing that has baffled my mind for years is OCD tendencies. I just don't understand. I mean, with myself and this blog...I feel like I need to type a certain amount of random thoughts of my brain before I can save and publish the post. Or when you're trying so hard to concentrate in class and there is just one blind that is facing the opposite way of the others. I HAVE TO WORK IN THIS ROOM PEOPLE!! How am I supposed to work when that blind is consuming all of my attention?! I don't understand how that small detail can consume my thoughts for the ENTIRE time. Then, when I try to not concentrate on it...I find myself glancing at it every two seconds...as if it changed. All I have to say is...I can't be ashamed and neither should you...yes you. That's right. I'm talkin to you. Don't be ashamed. We OCD's need to stick together!

And that is all we have on the animal kingdom today folks. Tune in tomorrow to know how Geckos are capable of selling car insurance. Thanks for watching!

Shooby Dooby Doop Doo

Hola mis amigos! Estoy aquí! Alright so last night was pretty interesting. My sister, Brooke, and I were just sitting in her room when she decided that she wanted to get out her Spanish hymn book and sing songs en español. Great idea, ya? Maybe...well she said i was doing good at "trying" to follow along...highly doubt it. She is one of those people I like to call a "Sugarcoater." Which bring me to my first menu item: Sugarcoaters. Ya, you know what I'm talking about. Those people who will do anything NOT to hurt your feelings. Honestly, most of the time I feel worse when someone sugarcoats something, because I know they're trying to say, in the nicest way possible of course, YOU SUCK. It's almost entertaining sometimes though. I mean, watching them try to form the right words in their head, and they're thinking so hard that you can almost see smoke coming out of their head...like a steam engine. Haha. But I guess what it all comes down to, is we all sugarcoat at some point.

Have you ever wondered who thought of the idea..."Picture Frame?" Kind of a weird idea, when you think about it. I can just imagine 3,000 years ago, "Hey! This good cave drawing, we should box around so later people can read. (Caveman voice)" Ever since we were little nose pickers, were making frames with popsicle sticks. My thought is that the best part of the frame...is the glass...otherwise, the purpose of the frame is nonexistent. The glass preserves the picture...or whatever is in it. Kinda interesting.

So I have decided to add a new section into the Blog, titled:
Random Fact of the Day: The Section in Which I Give You...a Random Fact
Did you know that the most stolen book in entire world is the Bible? Ironic, is it not? I mean I know for one thing that if you just call the number on those pass-along-cards, given by missionaries, and get one for free. Maybe I'm mistaken. Another thing is that it kinda contradicts one of the Commandments written in the Bible. I wonder how that works on judgment day? "So it looks here like you stole a book from a Hotel in May 1997...I have always taught that thou shalt not steal. How do you explain this?" "OH. Well...I stole the Bible, so that I could read it more." I guess in that situation God would know what to do, but I really don't know how that would work out in the end.

Venting Section: The Section in which i vent

Today I would like to ask the public... What is the purpose of a Scorpion? Honestly, I'm terrified of those things for a couple reasons:
Reason 1: They can kill you.
Reason 2: They are flat out ugly.
Reason 3: They are creepy looking.
Reason 4: Did I say that they're ugly?
I mean, I know they kill bugs and such and keep they food chain going somehow...but isn't there other animals/insects that could handle the job? They say that they are only dangerous when they feel threatened...wouldn't that be like all the time? Everything is huge compared to a scorpion! I feel threatened around tall people and I speak their language. You could be coming up to a scorpion saying "It's okay, little guy. I'm not gonna hurt you." and for all it knows you're saying, "I'm bigger than you and can crush you with my shoe!" I would absolutely hate to live in a place where I have the chance of a scorpion coming into my house.

We have arrived at our destination, you are free to move about the cabin. I hope you enjoyed you flight. Please fly with us again. Thank you, Babye now.

Pizza Slices and Ice

Okay okay...I know I haven't been updating like at all. But I've been really busy! GOSH! Keep your pants on...everyone just needs to calm down!
(Ehhem) Well The New Year started with me working at good 'ol Hot Dog De La Stick (Hot Dog On A Stick). I opened at 9 o' clock AM. Mind you, this is the third year in a row that I have opened New Year's Day...probably because I am the only one they know of, that will not be hung over. Any dang ways, I didn't have a customer for nearly and hour and a half...you might say that I was bored out of my mind. I was so bored, I was LOOKING for things to clean slash do. You know you're ridiculously awesome at your job when you find things to clean when your bored...I mean, let's be honest people. Back to the story. So I managed to clean the entire front of the store...I don't know if you've ever seen a Hot Dog On A Stick store...but it is piled with old, crusty, extremely hard to get off grease on all the cooking devices. (Disclaimer: Do Not Read if about to cook, eat, prepare, or even look at food) To clean these delicious looking cookers, I had to take a razor blade and scrape off all of the dried up glue textured grease from the sides of the cookers. Okay...so I was just wondering how in the heck does this grease manages to find its way ALL OVER the ENTIRE cooker? I mean it's like it grasshopper jumps out of the cooker onto the most impossible places. It's almost like someone stuck their filthy little hands in there and wiped gallons of boogers onto the sides. I just don't understand. But, nonetheless, I took one for the team, (actually two...because I opened too) and cleaned it.

So is it just me, or is everyone engaged? I mean honestly. My best friend is engaged, my old roommate is engaged, my uncle is engaged, my sister is engaged, a friend from my home town is engaged...it's seriously a never ending list. It's like everyone took the movie "2012" to heart and decided, "Hey the end of the world is neigh, I better get married!" I find it extremely ironic, don't you? I am going to be attending three weddings in one months time...that seems like a lot of weddings to me. It makes me think of the movie "27 Dresses." I'm going to have a closet full of dresses from multiple weddings. It's like everyone got shot by cupid at least 300 times. It's absolutely mental.

Little Caesar's Pizza:
Oh my. You get me started on such a delectable piece of crust topped with tomato sauce, cheese, and...esssstra cheese. Honestly, they are probably THE smartest pizza place out there. I mean $5 pizza, ready for you on the spot?! GENIUS! Fast food just became Speed of Light Food...or...Even Faster Food...dah, you know what I mean. If you look around...all the pizza places are trying to mimic it. Look at Dominoes, who wants to pay $5.99 for food poisoning? Their slogan should be "Hey only a dollar more to make you throw up so you can eat more! :)" Paalease. The best part is that you get at least three meals for $5! You eat two, get full, eat two, get full, eat the last two and are stuft. Forget Mc Donalds, I'm goin to Little Caesar's.

Venting Section: The Section in Which...I Vent
Icy Sidewalks.
I think that the funniest thing to watch is people walking on ice. The greatest part is if you're walking to class and see someone in front of you slip and then look around to see if anyone saw, pretending like nothing happened; while you say to yourself, "Buddy, you do realize that you are walking in a place full of engaged people, married people, and normal people...therefore everyone behind, in front, and on the side of you just saw you almost eat pavement." I don't know why everyone has to pretend like nothing happened. Honestly, one of these days I'm gonna almost beef and turn it into the moon walk or maybe to prevent any slipping at all...I'll just moon walk all the way to class. Let's do it. My philosophy is if you're already slipping in control, how can you slip and fall. But seriously, it's like farting...everyone does it, it can't be avoided. Embrace the moment that you almost just made a complete fool of yourself in front of about 60 people. Can you imagine
what the world would be like if no one got embarrassed...ever? I'm pretty sure that we would have so many naked crazies running around. Wow...maybe that's not the best idea I've had.

Well, that's all the time I have for today. I promise I will try and update as much as possible. If you wanna help me out and give me ideas of things to talk/vent/ridicule/patronize/

or even completely annihilate, just comment on the blog, email me, facebook me, call me, beep me, if you wanna reach me; any means of communication works. Until we meet again people of America! PEACE!