Haters and Bulletproof Vests

So today has been productive; I did my laundry, cleaned/vacuumed my room, cleaned the kitchen and washed my sheets...not to mention harvested some grapes and upgraded my farm. I'd say it's been pretty productive.

VENTING SECTION: The section...in which I vent.

The worst feeling in the world is going on Facebook and seeing all your friends in California with status' such as: "80 degrees, goin to the beach." or "60 degrees and I'm freezing." Then you take a look out your window and see nothing but snow. Don't tell me that people, I don't want want to know the beauty of California when I'm stuck...well...out of California. That's when you start to hate the world for a matter of minutes...if not the rest of the day. Don't get me wrong, I love snow...but only when I'm snowboarding. It's even more depressing when you're surrounded by snow and have no money to go boarding...that's when you REALLY hate the world. Then you have what I like to call a "California Breakdown," where you just can't stand to be without California anymore. People who hate on California...have no idea what they're talking about. Clearly...it's jealousy. Plus...it's like two states in one...you've got SoCal and NoCal and they are extremely different...really. People don't understand, if you don't like one, you're bound to like the other, it's inevitable. My car doesn't even like being out of California and in the snow. It won't start when it's too cold...no one here understands that...it's really true. Cars from California. Hate. Utah. Or any other state that gets below 50 degrees. California haters: you are nieve. Only those who have not experienced the greatness of California choose to hate on it. Wise up people.

RANDOM FACT SECTION:

Bulletproof vests, fire escapes, and windshield wipers were all invented by women. Okay okay, so without women more people would die from shots to the chest, not being able to easily escape from fire and car crashes from not being able to see while driving in the rain. Haha sounds like most of us are still alive today because of women. It seems to me that men do things in the moment, whereas women think things through in order to not get killed. Do you ever wonder why men invent extreme sport tricks? It's because women aren't crazy enough to test it until someone else proves that it's possible. Haha let the men take one for the team, even if it means risking their lives. The male and female mind work in such unique ways, it's extremely fascinating to me. Men are more risk takers wheres women are those who step back and look at the big picture. So women are more logical than men, thus it is proved.

Well folks, that's really all I can bust out today...sorry it wasn't that funny haha. Stay tuned for exclusive deleted scenes and movie in the making.

Dollar Bills and Einstein

So, it's Friday night and the Olympics have started. Oh joy, watching 4 hrs of just the opening ceremony. Do you think that the Olympic Committee knows the most of the world gets bored with all the random stuff they put in there? I don't know, maybe I'm not appreciative of "tradition," but I'm pretty positive that half the world had no idea why this random Peter Pan kid was gliding through the air and turning water into grass...seems like it symbolizes something...but no one knows what really...or even why. I love the Olympics, I really do but I really only watch the actual events. The opening ceremony is more of a "maybe I'll watch it." One thing that I did think was respectful however, was that they did dedicate one of the many speeches to Nodar Kumaritashvili, who was sadly killed in practice runs for the luge.

What I want to know, is how musical instruments work. I mean, I know how they work but why and who would figure that out? It's absolutely brilliant if you think about it. Okay, look at the trumpet, for example, how can one valve change to a different note? I know that the holes and air ways are different but wow. Or a flute? Who knew that pushing a button to cover an air hole would make different sounds come out?! Crazy stuff, I tell ya.

VENTING SECTION: The section in which I vent...

MONEY. Ah yes...the necessary evil. Something I don't understand is, what's the point? Okay, I understand the function of money and why we need a money system but last time I checked, every single country is in debt. How is that possible? How can we loan money to other countries, when we don't have money ourselves? I just don't understand, money isn't serving it's purpose at all. Every time something drastic happens, we're just like "Oh. Haha, IOU." Not just that, but we are in a lose, lose situation. President Obama can either raise taxes and make everyone who is already suffering financially, suffer more; or he can cut taxes, but where is all the money gonna come from? You just can't win. Props to President Obama for taking a nearly impossible position at the most impossible time. I wouldn't have the guts. Hear is my thought. The whole world just presses a "Reset Button" and everyone forgets about their debt, yada yada yada. We clean the slate and move ahead with our lives, keeping them intact.

RANDOM FACT SECTION:

"Bats always turn left when exiting a cave." Hmmmm, that's kinda weird. Is that to lower the number of head on collisions? Bats are blind, right? Haha, I think that our little friend, the bat, here may be smarter than the human species. Congratulations human race, for failing to be smarter than something that flies and can't even see! I'm pretty sure that there are more car accidents in a minute than there are flying accidents by bats in their lifetime. Sometimes, I wonder why God gave US the ability to speak and control the world. It's probably because we can't get ANYTHING right! We needed the ability to speak in order to survive and the ruling the world thing was to just keep our self-esteem on the upper level. Animals probably look at us humans everyday and think to themselves, "those stupid humans." I would. I mean most of us can't "camp" without a tent or RV. Animals, camping is their LIFE! And they do it without a tent or RrrrrV! We can't even eat things without using some sort of technology, like a knife or a gun. They catch food with their bare hands!...or paws, whatever. They don't have to worry about drama between other animals, if you're being stupid BAM! you're dead, it's as simple as that. Wow I am embarrassed by our lack of ability to function naturally. I will never look at my dog the same.

Well people, you get what you pay for. This is free, so I'm not responsible for wasting your time. See ya!

Dishwashers and Cow Pies

My apologies for the delay, everyone. I had a virus on my computer and was a little preoccupied by that. Have you ever wondered why they have "scientific" names for things? Honestly, I think it's just so scientists can confuse you by saying, " Formulation of an hypothesis to explain the phenomena," when what they're really saying is tell me why that thing does what it does. Just get on with it! Don't get all confusing an technical just to sound smarter. You may sound smarter, but to most people who don't know what you're saying...you sound dumb! Show off. That's what I think anyways. You're not impressing me with your scientific way of putting things. Gimney Christmas!

Venting Section: The Section in Which I Vent

You know what really drives me up the wall? Dirty dishes. I don't know, maybe it's my OCD but they make me absolutely insane. I didn't discover this until I had roommates. Oh my. I don't mind so much if they leave something in the sink and clean it up later, but when they don't rinse it out..? That takes all of two seconds to do! Plus, when you don't rinse it out it just gets crusted on there and make your job harder anyways. So all that time that you thought you were saving by not rinsing it and leaving it in the sink is doubled, if not tripled, when you're trying to get all the dried up, crusted, old food off the dish. Another thing about dirty dishes is if the dishwasher is completely empty...yet there are dishes left in the sink. Wow. Really? Are you that lazy that you can't open a door and place something on a rack? Seriously. No wonder all other countries hate Americans! Someone probably had one for a roommate 50 yrs ago and that's where all the rumors started. "Those Americans are so lazy, they can't even rinse off a bowl let alone put it in a dishwasher." Way to represent America lazy pants! Now everyone hates us!

Random Fact of the Day:

"The most money ever paid for a cow in an auction was $1.3 million. " Okay, okay...why? Did that cow have magic milk or something? It better have an endless supply of your choice of any flavor milk you want! You could probably buy 500 cows for that! Here's what I think happened:

"Do I hear $100? Can I get $100? $100! Do I hear $150? Can I get $150?" "Oh my gosh. I really want that cow. I really want it. The price is going up." "$200! Do I hear a $250?" "$1.3 million!" "SOLD! To the man with $1.3 million!" "(oh shoot. I got too excited. I can't come back from that. Do I even have $1.3 million?)"

Yup. I really think it was someones first auction and they got over excited about the endless supply of chocolate milk. The pressure of the situation must have been too much. Poor fellow.

Well, don't forget to floss everyday and see the receptionist to make an appointment in 6 months. Come back before if needed. Oh! And don't forget your toy. See you next time!